We’ve all got relatives, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances whose behavior often defies logic. They’re emotional, draining, and by definition—toxic. The problem with these people is they’re infectious like a disease, and if you’re not careful—they can utterly and completely destroy you.
It is a truism that you become exactly like the people you surround yourself with. If you hang with alcoholics in a bar all day and all night, it won’t be long before you’ll need to stand up in front of a small group, introduce yourself, and proclaim your affliction too. It’s human nature. Choose your friends carefully.
Here’s a list of 10 Toxic People You Should Get Rid Of, just like you would a cancer—if you want to be successful.
1. The Pretender
This person loves to act like they’re intelligent and educated, but they’re not. The popular colloquialism kids in high school liked to use for a short period of time when I was growing up was a “perpetrator”.
To be clear, I’m not talking about someone who lacks intellect due to a disability. I’m talking about people who are arrogant, egotistical, and self-righteous. The kind of person who loves to sound intelligent, but isn’t.
2. The Emotional Vampire
These are the kind of people you meet in a grocery store, and they suddenly show up at your door step the next morning with all four of their kids, at 7am, and then stay all day bitching about their life. They’re a constant drain; always negative, always complaining, and always there.
3. The Freeloader
We’ve all had that friend—the one who’s in a perpetual state of broke. There’s nothing wrong with falling on hard times or being skint, as the Scots like to say, because you’re in-between jobs. The Freeloader though doesn’t even try; they’re broke because the choose to be. They won’t get a job or they spend their money on the wrong things—and expect friends like you to pick up the tab.
4. The Busy-Body and Gossip
There’s nothing worse than people who talk about other people. At the time of writing this, I live on a small island where everyone knows everybody, and consequently—everything about each other. At least they think so.
When I was in Haiti I walked past a church and read the following:
Great People Talk About Ideas
Average People Talk About Things
Small People Talk About Other People
I liked it so much I made a t-shirt with that on it and wear it around proudly.
Gossip is bad for everyone—including the person who engages in it. In Scripture we’re told that we shouldn’t even talk about a deaf person. That’s not because the deaf person will hear you and be hurt by it, but because of the profound damage it does to you—if you gossip.
5. The Fundamentally Lazy
If you lack drive, you’re never going to reach your full potential. Not even close. Not even a fraction of it. Sitting around all day smoking pot and watching TV is a terrible waste of your life. Hand around people like this and it won’t be long before your drive diminishes and your quality of life tanks.
6. The Naysayer
Never, ever, ever listen to anyone who tells you that you can’t do something or be the person you want to be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all that tall so if I told you I wanted to be a professional basketball player for the Lakers, I’d not be offended if you said I was high. That’s not being a naysayer, that’s being pragmatic. If you countered with, “Well James, I don’t think you’d ever realistically play on the court, but you could own the team…”, you and I would probably be friends for life. There is a difference.
7. The Big Talker
As a society, we love to talk about living our dreams. About being something big or living a different life. Some people just love to talk. They talk a big game, but never act on anything. They just never do.
8. The Depressed Hypochondriac
Ugh. If I hear one more person on Facebook talk about their fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome I’m going to remove myself from social media entirely. Those are really a lazy doctor’s “other box” for when they can’t find a legitimate diagnosis or causation. And far too often, because they have “no known cause”, no direct testing protocols, and almost no differential diagnosis, fakers and whiners who really need a shrink, not more medication, are able to slide in and suddenly become ill.
My advice is to stay away from anyone who has a high-school education, but seems to know more about symptoms and treatments for a virtual cornucopia of ambiguous illnesses than any physician can. Cyberchondriac are now a dime a dozen; the internet has given people like this a great opportunity to take advantage of others.
9. The Victim
This person never takes personal responsibility for anything—ever. It’s always someone else’s fault that they’re experiencing struggles in life. The blame, blame, and blame some more without ever looking in the mirror once.
10. The Control Freak
This person manipulates everything and everyone around them to get their needs met. They always want it their way and seldom if ever compromise. They’re particularly toxic because they can be a significant hinderance to your progress in life.
When it comes time for you to accomplish goals that matter to you such as becoming a professional Scuba Diver, you really need to surround yourself with people who are supportive. I’m not talking about people who agree with you (because trust me, you will meet plenty of people who will want you to act like an utter moron with them), but people who contribute to your life in a positive way. This is even more important in industries like Diving because it attracts an element of society who sadly, fits well into the negative examples provided above.